


Frozen Dreams

by Meraad



Series: Sorrows and Delights - Blackwall/Cadash [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Blood, F/M, Fluff, flashback dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-28 14:09:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15708801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meraad/pseuds/Meraad
Summary: A vivid dream in the aftermath of Haven





	Frozen Dreams

The bitter copper taste of blood filled her mouth as she screamed. She swayed, woozy from the pain. Rija lifted her hand, afraid of what she would find. Fingers slipping in blood on her jaw. A gash in her cheek. She nearly blacked out. Her fingers continued their journey up her face. She felt her eye but saw nothing.

Thank the Ancestors her other eye was working, she saw her aunt coming at her again with the hatchet. “Worthless!” Narazda screamed. “Narynn should have drowned you the day you were born!”

The words were meant to hurt but didn’t have the desired effect Narazda was hoping for. Rija knew and had known for near on a decade that if not for her father, Narynn would have tossed her in a river, a lake, or a fire. Whatever was handy.

Rija did the only thing she could do. She ran. A bloody stumbling mess, but she knew if she didn’t want to die, she had to run.

Though hours later when she stumbled to the edge of a little village with a half-frozen stream nearby, she wondered why she had bothered. Emry was dead.

_My fault, Salroka, I’m so sorry._

Rija reached into her pocket, found the stone. Emry’s luck, that he had pressed into her hand with his dying breath.

“ _Should have been you!”_

“ _Worthless cow!”_

She felt so tired as she sunk down and shoved her cold, bloody hands into the water. Rija had nowhere to go. The little bit of coin and the handful of gems she’d stolen from Narazda before the woman had found her with the hatchet, wouldn’t get her far.

“Papa,” her voice sounded small to her own ears. A child again at the sight of the only person who had ever loved her. Rija stepped into the water that only a moment ago had been a barely trickling stream, but with each step she took, it grew wider, deeper, colder. Still, her father waited, patient as ever.

Rija was almost there, just a few more steps. Another voice called her name. Gruff and raw so familiar it caused a shiver to run up her spine. On the opposite shore stood Blackwall. She felt a pull, something tugging at her. _No_! She wanted to yell.

Her papa was there, waiting. Every time she looked at him, she was that little girl again, hiding in the bushes. Screaming as the blade slide home in his chest.

But Blackwall kept yelling, calling her name, pleading with her to come back, and she wasn’t that little girl anymore. She remembered the kisses and his oath. The feel of his fingers and tongue on her skin. She remembered how he made her feel like she was more than just the mark on her hand.

The Anchor.

A mistake. Just what Narynn would say.

She looked at her father and he smiled at her. “Go back, my little cricket. I’ll still be here.” Her jaw trembled because she didn’t want to go back. She missed him. It had been so long, so many years.

“Papa,” she whispered.

“Rija, please,” Blackwall’s voice again. The stream was now a river, a fast rushing divide. “Come back,” he said, bowing his head and taking a step away from the shore.

“Wait!” she shouted. He was going to leave. He couldn’t leave her. She glanced back and her father was gone. No, no, no. She didn’t want to be alone again. She had been alone for so long.

The water was like ice, cutting through her as she struggled to wade against the current. “Blackwall!” she shouted back, saw him lift his head. “Don’t leave me!” Rija’s throat ached with the scream, her heart pounded in her chest. “Please,” it came out a sob and she hated herself for it, but it wouldn’t matter if she was alone.

He was still so far away. She slipped, went under, choking, gasping as she tried to push her head above the water. Managed a breath but then she was under again. She’d never make it back. Rija’s eyes slid shut. She wanted to go back.

Warmth encased her. A rough beard scratched against her cheek. Blackwall’s voice, rougher than usual against her ear. “Maker, I thought for sure you were-” his voice broke off and she felt him lift her. “Just hold on, Rija.”

 

Blackwall spotted her first, half buried in snow, her brilliant red hair a spark against the white. Among the others shouts of ‘Herald’ and ‘my lady’ he fell to his knees beside her. “Rija,” he rasped out, voice aching from the hours they’d spent searching.

“Blackwall,” it was so quiet he thought he’d imagined it at first. Then he heard the quiet broken sob. “Don’t leave me,” she twisted her head, arched in his arms. “Please.” The sob broke him. He yanked off the thick gambeson he wore, not caring that all he had under was a thin cotton tunic.

Careful of her injuries, he wrapped it around her and then lifted her from the snow. “Shh,” he murmured against her temple. “Maker, I thought for sure you were-” he closed his eyes as the others reached them. “Just hold on, Rija,” he said as they began their journey back to camp.

Someone stepped up and pressed a tonic to her lips. Rija sighed and rubbed her cheek against his shoulder. “Don’t leave me,” she mumbled in her sleep.

He pressed his lips to her forehead and closed his eyes, wishing she meant it. He didn’t imagine spending the night together had changed anything. He knew that he shouldn’t pursue her, but he also knew he wasn’t strong enough to deny himself her if she still wanted him.

 

Hours later, he sat beside the cot, her wrapped in his gambeson. “I had the strangest dream,” she murmured and Blackwall jerked his head up to meet her gaze. “About when my cousin Emry died…” He immediately reached for the stone that hung from the leather cord around his neck. He’d promised to wear it when she went to try and close the breach, but so much had happened, he’d not had the chance to return it. “No, wait, don’t take it off. Keep it, please. Just for now.” Rija pressed her hand to his, then slipped her fingers between his as her eyes slid shut. “My aunt tried to kill me after he died. My fault. Shouldn’t have agreed to do the job with him. But he would have done it anyway, even if I didn’t go. Should have been me, not him.” Her other hand reached up, touched the scar on her cheek.

Blackwall knew that the injury had affected her vision in that eye, and he made sure to always stay on her right side in battle, to protect her blind spot.

“I found a little stream… it was half frozen, the water was so cold. I thought about just throwing myself in. But this old woman found me, took me in and nursed me back to health. But in the dream, in the dream, my father was there. Waiting for me. I tried to get to him, but the water got deeper, the stream got wider. I was almost there, so close, just a few more steps...” Rija blinked up at him, held her right hand up to touch his cheek.

Blackwall leaned into it, unable to help himself. Her fingers were still so cold. He covered it with his free hand. “I heard your voice and you wouldn’t stop yelling at me,” her voice hitched, but a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.

He knew that he shouldn’t. But her words made him feel like he was someone important like he’d done something amazing. Leaning down, he rubbed the tip of his nose against hers, watched her eyes slide shut as a soft smile settled onto her features. “You nearly die again, and you’ll really hear me yell,” he said before brushing his lips against hers in a tender kiss.


End file.
